As for bleach, I don't use it very often on my aquarium stuff, the vapors are too strong for me.

I have read that it isn't very effective for killing snails, and some of the other really nasty stuff that drives me crazy.
I did know about the lava rock, wish I could have helped you in time there.

I have read that an extremely strong saline solution is better. Yup, good old table salt again!!!  But whatever you put in it, gravel, decorations etc. must be rinsed, and rinsed, and rinsed to be free from the salt before adding back to the tank.

Lava rock would probably behave the same way as with the bleach, so the good old toothbrush is the only really safe way I've found to clean those.

As for the snails, I tried everything and finally did purchase a pair of clown loaches. You might already know this.
Another thing about snails is that they can often survive the journey through a fishes intestines, just to come out in the nice, clean (thought to be snail-free) tank!!!!!
Now, granted, my loaches have not been able to wipe out the snail population entirely, but I really didn't want them too.

Just keep it in check.

What I've noticed is that, although I still have some larger snails, all the wee little beasties are gone.  
I think what happens is that they can devour the little ones before their shells really develop, and are great at hunting out and eating the eggs.

The snails that are left I could just pick out with my hands, if I wanted too. But they do a good job keeping the inside glass clean, so they can stay.

Actually, if you asked all the kids in the neighborhood, "What's the best thing in guppygirl's tanks?" The snails would win hands down. GO FIGURE!!! :-)

The clown loaches are great foragers too, they are constantly rooting through the gravel(sometimes spinning upside down to get that last little-crumb-stuck-underneath-this-piece-of-gravel, uuuuhhhh, there, got it, munch, munch, munch) yes, a hoot to watch!!!

The only issue that I have with them is that they uproot my plants all the time. But, it's a small price to pay for all of the fine work they do.

As for the egg on your face, I wish I could hand you a towel.  O.K., so sometimes you get a little hyperbolic, and tend to sensationalize a bit when you write, but that just keeps the reader from falling asleep. ;-)